A New Sweet Summer Mix on 8tracks

I've compiled another 8tracks playlist. I can't help it...I love all of these songs. It pours out of me like rain. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Friday. <3 L

Father's Day: Sweet Memories of Early Mornings, Cockoo Clocks, and Patsy Cline

It's 5am on Father's Day morning, too early for even the dogs to come downstairs and ask for breakfast. I can hear Gibbs, Marley's bodyguard, and who can't so much as let another dog sniff Marley without getting so worked up that he jumps, barks, and whines in place, snoring at the top of the landing.

I can hear the clock ticking in the living room. Such a peaceful sound. It reminds me of my grandparent's house when I was little in Waynesboro, VA. They had antique cockoo clocks that I was fascinated with, happily ticking away, that I would listen to in the room 'off limits' to a little girl under the age of six...but when no one was awake, I could slip into the formal living room that had a smell so sweet and clean, and filled with beautiful collectibles from Germany, it could only be my Nan and Pop's house.
 
I'm now thankful for waking up so early this morning, as I never would have had this memory otherwise. I haven't thought of that living room in years, or of that old Waynesboro house on Gum Street that I loved so much as a kid. My sister and I were certain there were secret passageways in that old house. I believe there were, actually, little rooms and closets that were built between the rooms connecting them together. Since we watched the show Webster when we were little, we really wanted a secret passageway to hide in if bad guys got into our house. It's funny what types of conversations you have with your sister when you are all of five years old.

On this Father's Day morning, my husband and I are lucky to have his parents sleeping in our guest room, a decision to drive down they made at the last minute two days ago. I'm glad they came. There are few things that can make my husband so happy as seeing his parents, and that's his one regret of living so far away from DC, and honestly mine, too. It's hard to be so far away from people you love, no matter how much you love living somewhere. Thankfully, my mom has plans to come down in August. I miss her, too, which is why we talk for several hours on the phone each week, even if I have nothing to say and just want to listen to her tell me what she happens to be working on that week. Hearing someone's voice that you love is not overrated.

So today, in honor of Father's Day, with sweet memories of German cockoo clocks, wind-up delicate music boxes, and quiet mornings when I would sit and wait patiently for my family to wake up, I would like to share a list of what I learned from my father. As my lovely friend Janeen said, many of the best parts of me came from him. I think that's true.

1. Champagne can be enjoyed any time of day, for an occasion or for no reason whatsoever
2. It’s never too late to transform one’s life or to mend relationships with family
3. Family and good friends are what is most important in life
4. No matter how much you may hurt, physically or mentally, NEVER throw away your optimism that things will improve
5. Stop eating when you are full, you don’t have to clean your plate
6. It's okay for kids under 5 to sleep on church pews through the service, while getting their back scratched by their dad
7. Don’t settle
8. Never complain, never explain
9. Tough times never last...tough people do
10. Surround yourself with people that will impact your life for the better, not for the worse. Your life is up to YOU.

My dad and I shared a love of music. He knew every artist, every song from early 1930's big band to 1980. His favorite artist of all time was Patsy Cline. I dedicate this song to him. Happy Father's Day everyone.

 

When It's Time to Get Dreamy: The Playlist

If you know me pretty well, you may know that I am totally obsessed with music. All kinds. All genres. I can dance in my living room to just about anything. I like inde music, 80's hair metal, grunge, old school rap, slow jams, pop, country, bluegrass, even Kenny G. Yes, I said it. I like Kenny G. ...WHAT.

So it should come as no surprise that I am badly in need of a dance party. Three plus straight hours of handpicked songs that I can rock out to with cold drink in hand (fond memories of my wedding come to mind...). Sadly, I don't know where I can do this and I live in a townhouse where I would keep the kids next door awake...or at the very least irritated. I'm at a loss. This is one reason I want to get married again. To the same person I'm married to now, SILLY.

Since I don't work in an office, I listen to music on Pandora ALL DAY LONG...generally to my Happy playlist. It's perfected greatness. Yes, you may think I'm just biased but it's taken me years to get it juuuuust right. It's not easy deselecting songs Pandora tries to slip in. And so, over the course of the past month, I have, with my just slightly ADD self, pulled together this dreamy playlist. It's not a dance party. One thing at a time. These are all songs that I literally had to stop what I was doing and take note of the song. I hope you enjoy this playlist as much as I do.

Dance party playlist (and other handpicked playlists on 8tracks) will come...at some point.

Best Historic Charleston Hotel & Fort Sumter

Last weekend one of my best friends came to visit us in Charleston with her husband and kids, and of course, I carefully selected things to do so she would decide in the three day visit that her husband should practice a different type of law that would allow them to move to Charleston. Since they brought all three kids, it would've been almost impossible for them to stay in our small townhouse during their visit, and I would have constantly run around frantically to ensure none of my things got broken...I have way too many breakable things. My house is not what one would call 'child proof'.



So they stayed at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Historic Charleston, which is in an awesome location, right next to Marion Square, which always has something going on. When they arrived on Friday there was a movie in the park playing in the evening and every Saturday morning there is the Charleston farmers market, which I went to for the first time last week. It was the most amazing farmers market I've ever seen. Jewelry, homemade pickles, fresh lemonade, purses, southern wide-brimmed hats, and of course grass fed beef, local greens and everything else you would expect from a farmers market. My friends had a view of everything going on in the square from their room, and the kids even got to play on a moon bounce type of thing. The hotel was perfect for their family, since it had a separate living room and bedroom area, so we could drink wine in the evening in the suite's living room, while the kids slept in the bedroom. And every evening they had a manager's reception, which means that you just take your room key down and get free wine, beer, mixed drinks and snacks for a few hours each evening. I've never really seen a hotel do that.

So the first full day of the visit we took a boat ride to Fort Sumter, which I've always wanted to go to, but it took a friend visiting to go. I am what you would call a 'light' history buff, meaning I like to read the cliff notes of things, know enough about history to be able to talk intelligently about it, but most of the time I'm more interested in pop culture in US Weekly. But seriously, how do you get three little kids interested in anything more than the boat ride, the large grassy area at Fort Sumter where they can run around, or the miniature re-creation of the fort and various battle scenes. Luckily, baby snow white was with us to make things more fun for the kids. Like most museums, Fort Sumter is more interesting for adults.





All in all, there were two highlights of our weekend, I would say, beyond the boat ride and tour of Fort Sumter:
1. Seeing a *gasp* 'double' rainbow (not iPhone generated, I swear!) from the window of Embassy Suites Historic Charleston over Marion Square
2. Sullivan's island, where we spent most of Sunday playing in the water (and alas, I took no pictures), making sand castles out of shells (we found TWO sand dollars), and meeting some really great, welcoming people that were happy to share their drinks and snacks with my friend's kids. I am constantly amazed by southern hospitality and how wonderful people are here in Charleston.



 Marion Square at Embassy Suites, Historic Charleston, a hotel in downtown Charleston

 

Charleston Wine Tasting at Middleton Place

So last Wednesday we went to the Middleton Place wine stroll for the first time for some old fashioned Charleston wine tasting. Every Wednesday starting in early May 'well to do's' can meet up starting at 5:30pm and go from table to table in whatever garden the wine tasting is set up in, mingle, and repeatedly taste the delicious wines.

I discovered I really haven't been drinking enough wine lately, because part of the fun last week was guessing the kind of wine, vintage, and origin of a mystery wine on each of the three tables. It was really quite tragic, because I could not tell the difference between a Riesling and a Pinot Grigio, or a Malbec and a Pinot Noir. Gone are the days where I drank 3 glasses of wine every night after work. I'm lucky to have 4 glasses a week now, and they are usually enjoyed in one day, Friday evening or Saturday. Now I'm actually drinking each week what I have told my doctor all these years. (Threeee glasses max!)

So as we parked ourselves next to the table we liked the most and proceeded to have multiple tastes (treated more so as an open bar than a wine tasting), we eavesdropped on the conversations around us. Most of the crowd at the wine stroll looked like they were either part of the historic Charleston preservation society, were retired, or had their golf cart parked in their garage next to their Volvo SUV. As we listened into what was being said we heard someone mention that there was 'riff raff there' that night. And when you look around and you can't really tell who the riff raff in the crowd happens to be...well, guess what? You're it.



Since I'm not the kind of person that is bothered by such things we got a few more refills of wine and enjoyed walking around the grounds, interacting with a goat, a feisty peacock, a water buffalo, and some baby alligators. For $15 a person, two hours of wine, entertainment (self-made), and strolling in the beautiful setting of a well kept historic plantation is absolutely worth it and a screaming deal, even if you have to force the richie rich crowd to slum it in your presence. I kid...I actually feel quite at home with the 'well to do' crowd...just don't wear jeans, shorts, or flip flops. And leave your jorts and tie-dyed shirt at home, as well! And finally, be prepared to enjoy your evening. Cheers!

A New Leaf for Charleston Newbie

Wow, look at this sad little blog with only 3 posts in 2011 and it's already May!?!? See I can say that since it's my own blog.

I have some ideas to get this going again, but my outlook on it constantly changes. I don't have the woes I used to. 2011 really has been a doozie...in a good way.

More to come. The Roots and the summer = good times.

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Growing up, I was never afraid to fly. I loved flying...and when the plane sped up for take off, that was my favorite part, because it gave me such a rush. In college, I had a friend who was a pilot, and we caught a ride on a Leer Jet from Dulles Airport to Ocean City for the afternoon. Because my friend knew the pilots of the privately owned Leer Jet, they told us that we could stand up while the plane was taking off rather than being safely buckled into our seats. At the time, it was a total blast because the Jet was so FAST at take off. Looking back, I think, 'I wouldn't do that now'...

And then one day I was on a flight from Palm Springs to Washington, DC. I was eating my awful plane meal, that included bread that tasted like the packaging it had lived in for weeks no doubt, and watching my movie with my headphones on, and the plane...dropped. And my food almost fell off my tray table. And to my right a girl in her late teens, early twenties started screaming. Like bloody murder. Which really helps. It was just really bad turbulence, but it went on for a few hours and it managed to give me a splitting headache and officially took away my fearless attitude when it comes to air travel. I sat there and prayed...which sounds really silly now, but I was scared I wouldn't make it home, because I had never been on a plane that experienced that kind of violent turbulence.

I took that trip 3 months before my dad passed away.

I think of my life in terms similar to BC and AD, in regards to losing my dad, because when I look back at now what is almost 3 years, I realize that my life was headed into an extremely turbulent time, that would last quite a long time. Everybody talks about the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just now starting to see that light, and to enter, what I hope, is a calm and peaceful time for me, at least for a little while.

And then I got married, which has been wonderful, but set into motion other major life changing events. My husband and I decided we were going to move from the DC area over wine at a Middleburg, VA, winery. And so we moved to North Carolina. We loved being close to my brothers and made some amazing friends, but it wasn't the place for us, so we moved to Charleston. And as much as I loved it in Charleston the second we moved here, at first I was very, very lonely. We couldn't afford to fly back to DC to see family and friends. The reason? My husband has been, for the most part, looking for a steady job since May 2010. Living on one income for almost a year has not been easy, and I know I'm not alone, especially in this economy, but financial difficulty can break even the strongest person and relationship.

But somehow, we have managed to make it through. And, by the grace of God, we have met some amazing friends since we moved to Charleston, and reconnected with some old ones, and for that I am so grateful. These friends have helped me to gain the peace I now feel. I have heard recently that everyone is a work in progress, and you just 'have to make it through' the hard times. I fully subscribe to a saying that my dad used to say: never complain...never explain. I hope I haven't complained that much over the past few years, despite how difficult of a time we have been having. I hope most people didn't even know how hard of a time we have had. And that's why I'm ready to be honest now, as we are very close to being out of the weeds, and the light at the end of the tunnel continues to get brighter and brighter.

And a few weeks ago I was on a plane from Charlotte to Charleston. It wasn't a long flight, and it was about 10:30pm so the lights were all out unless someone was reading, but most people were sleeping through it. And the plane dropped and steadied itself, over and over again, barrelling through the night sky. And this time, I wasn't scared. Giving up control and having faith that everything will be okay is not easy, but sometimes it's what needs to happen to make it through the darkest times. And sometimes people need to know they are not alone, even when all of the lights are turned off.

I dedicate this post to my wonderful, talented friend Darcy, whose father passed away two days ago of cancer, and who stood next to me in the ICU when I found out that my dad died, and hugged me when I cried. I love you and will be here for you when you need me. XOXO.

It's Not the Destination, But the Journey That's Important

Just about everyone I know has had their life planned out from a young age. Number of kids identified, names of children all picked out, and what kind of house they wanted to live in pictured, complete with the white picket fence.

For example, when I was in college, I worked with a girl who had recently graduated with her undergrad degree, and she said she 'had very little time' to find her Mr. Right, because she had to be married by the time she was 22, to have her first kid at 24. She seemed very unwilling to budge with her time line, and to this day, I wonder if she ever really kept to it.

If you would have asked me when I was 17 how my life would go, I would have told you that I would get married as soon as I graduated from college, with my first child at 24 or so. And if the same question was asked when I was 22, I would have said, married by 26, first kid by 28...and so on.

My point is, it doesn't matter how much you try to put your type A spin on your life, because it will never turn out exactly (or even close to) how you planned. And that's not all bad.

I have a record number of friends that will have their first babies in 2011, and I'm so excited for them. I'll be turning 33 this year, and the more time goes by, the more I wonder when that will happen for me. The more years that go by, the more anal my husband becomes, and I'm not trailing that far behind, to the point where I wonder how much a baby would disrupt our lives and could we even handle it? I saw this after my husband blew a gasket over the recent realization that our dogs were scratching up the hardwood floors. I mean, don't kids draw on walls with crayons (and with worse things? ick). I wonder how my husband would react to that.

I used to be frustrated with waiting it out for the right time to start a family. We have been waiting for the right time...and sometimes I wonder if the right time will actually come. So I have re-focused my energies thinking about when we would not only have the family we want, but the house we want, that in my dreams seems to be getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

To put some perspective on things, as I've said before, I was very close with my father, and I feel like I've been passed some of his traits. He always aspired for more, and he worked and he worked and he worked to get it. He always had this restlessness of not being 'quite content' with what he had. I remember going to open house after open house with him saying 'which room would you pick if I had this house?'. And they were always the most beautiful houses. And huge. With wine cellars and big backyards, and built in hot tubs, and stables nearby where I could keep my horse. If I had one, that is.

Well guess what? I'm the exact same way. Every new neighborhood I drive through that I like has me pulling up Zillow on my iPhone, dreaming about how long it would take to make enough money to live in THAT neighborhood. And the silly thing is, I've gone from a 500 square foot condo in the DC area to a nice, new sizable townhouse. But has that been enough for me? Well...let's just say I'm always thinking about what's next. And I'm still dreaming of that perfect house.

My father was the same way. And then one day he had enough money and decided to build his dream house. All 16,000 square feet of it. And boy was it gorgeous. People would stop in front of it in Oakton, Virginia, when they were driving by because of its sheer mass and beauty, white limestone imported from Italy. I got married in that house.

But here's what I learned from all of that. Unless you have $2,000 every month to spend on utility bills alone, without blinking an eye, don't dream of that 16,000 square foot house.

But what does this all mean? I mean, seriously, what is the point? The point, my friends, is that it's good to dream, but if you are only living in your dreams of 'what you may have some day', you will never be enjoying the present, because the present moment will never be quite good enough, and your house won't ever be big enough, and you'll always be trying to get there, not ever really knowing where 'there' is. That's where I've lived for the past several years.

A friend said to me this week that things happen when they are supposed to, and to stop worrying about things, because you tend to realize later that things always work themselves out for the best, although you may not think so at the time, because we want things to happen when it's convenient for us. Because we always seem to think we know best, but in reality, we really don't know at all.

So, maybe I'll be the 36 year old 'new' mom, because that's when it will happen for me. And maybe I'll live in my modest townhouse until I'm 70. And I do think that would be okay, if that's what is supposed to happen. I'm ready to start focusing my energy on what I have now in my life, rather than what I want to have at some point in my life. I'll still dream big, but I won't let my dreams overtake me and bankrupt me. Because in the end, it's all just stuff, right?

And really, living in a townhouse in Charleston is 'living the dream' as my husband likes to say. So I'm gonna enjoy it. And I will wait patiently for my train to come.

No, You're Not Crazy, But There's a Little Black Swan in All of Us

So I have temporarily broken my trance that was caused by my excitement over our new, massive and sweet dog, because I got to have a girl's afternoon with a great new friend.

And we saw the movie Black Swan. O...M...G. I'm not going to ruin the movie for anyone that hasn't seen it, but there were so many amazing things that came out of this movie that has my mind spinning.

Despite the fact that it occasionally scared the bejesus out of me (yes, I put BOTH hands in front of my face several times throughout the movie - and thankfully, I had a Stella to drink to distract me during those times - I can't say the same for my pregnant friend with her lemonade :)), there were a few things about it that really stuck with me.

First, the drive for perfection is in every one of us (I think...). Who hasn't been driven crazy by their own mind the night before something big and REALLY IMPORTANT. I never knew why people had to take sleeping pills until I was in my late 20's. If you have never had to take one, then you are lucky, and hopefully you never will. But I think out of the drive for perfection can come great and beautiful things, but also can be just plain awful in the process, and you don't really know if 'it's all worth it' until you succeed and someone pats you on the back. Because I think I'm not the only one that needs a pat on the back every now and then, and has external factors that feed majorly into my self worth. I'm getting better at giving myself 'pats on the back' but really who does that on a regular basis if you aren't like Stuart Smalley.

Secondly...I'm going to tell you that I was a scared little kid when I was growing up. I was very shy. I hid behind my mom's legs when strangers approached me. I used to think that 'bad guys' were going to come out of the woods behind our house in Reston, and honestly, it took me a really long time to make the transition from an introvert to an extrovert, and I think now I'm somewhere in the middle. So my point in saying this is the fact that I over-analyze things, and I totally get the fact that sometimes situations will make you want to throw up, like in the movie Black Swan, when Nina got so stressed she had to run to the bathroom. Thankfully, I haven't done that in a REALLY long time. Yoga helps keep me in check when I take the time to do it. Let's just say right after 9-11 when I was out of a job for 3 months and interviewing non-stop, and not being hired, I went from a size 6 to a size zero because I couldn't keep anything down. I'm telling you, it's no way to live. Pressure absolutely keeps the weight off. At least for me. But it was a valuable life lesson that I survived, which has made me a much stronger person now.

And I'm not writing this to say I'm ANYthing like the main character of Black Swan, but I think that just about everyone can relate to extreme pressure, and great expectations that are placed on us either by ourselves, our parents, or people that are close to us. And a lot of times it helps us work very hard to be better people, and to be more successful. You just have to try to keep it in check and accept and celebrate your victories as rewards when they come, because that's what you are working for. And listen to this song when you get down, because it's a great pick-me-up (at least I think so). Oh, and it makes me want to dance and sing loudly.